I Can't Escape The Voices
by The.Angry.Ox
Summary: This is a song inspired fanfic, about Haru and his Black side. Warning! There will be self-harm, mature language, the slightest bit of gore and, a touch of yaoi fluff (boy on boy if you don't know what Yaoi means) so if the follow offends/disgusts you please do not read! If that is what you enjoy then I hope you love it!


AN: Well first off let me get the usual nonsense over with, no I sadly don't own fruits basket or it's characters, blah, blah, blah... Now this is a song inspired fanfic, about Haru and his Black side.

**Warning! **There will be self-harm, mature language, the slightest bit of gore and, a touch of yaoi fluff (boy on boy if you don't know what Yaoi means) so if the follow offends/disgusts you please do not read! :D otherwise I hope you enjoy! And don't hate me for the taunt I will be putting my baby (Hatsuharu is my favorite character ever so I call him my baby) through. *dodges multiple thrown keyboards* Okay! Okay! I'll shut up and go! Enjoy! *hides under my computer desk*

_I can't remember what started the screaming, it's been too long. I don't hear anything but his voice, my voice, twisted into that dark mocking tone telling me this is how I will live the rest of my life. His voice will be all that I know. I _can't_ have that happen. I _won't_ let it happen. I'll_ die _before I allow him to take _control_. _

*One week before*

"Nothing could ever be better than this." Haru thought contently as he lay in the wild grass with a sleeping Yuki curled tightly against his side, while the warm spring sun shined down on their pale bare limbs and flat toned stomachs. Haru loved when they came out to Yuki's secret base, here they could do what ever they liked without fear that someone would catch them. The ox didn't like that Yuki wanted to hide their love but he understood the need to keep it hidden. If their tyrant of a god found out of their relationship they were sure to pay a very heavy price for their happiness.

Haru sat up on his hands smiling fondly down on the angelic boy who had his face buried in his stomach, "Yuki?" He said softly trying to gently wake him so he would not wake up swinging his fist. "Please wake up my prince." The ox cooed down at the rat that was beginning to stir a bit at the sound of his knight's voice, "..nnuuhh.." Yuki complained in his half asleep state. "Come on." Haru lightly nudged his side with his hand, "We need to get up and get dressed, I have to be back at the main house in few hours." Yuki looked up at him blinking with tired confused eyes, "Huh? Get dressed..." His mind seemed to awaken when he recalled the events that had occurred a few hours before, "Oh.. um yeah, clothes would be nice." His pale milky cheeks slowly began to be stained with blush as he thought about how his bare body was touching Haru's, even though they have been touching far more intimately before. Haru smiled at his shyness finding the cutest thing he's ever seen. He leaned down a bit kissing his forehead gingerly, "Come on, get up." He said pushing him to get up. Yuki shyly stood to his feet hiding himself from view with his hands, "Haruuu~!" He whined as he saw his lover staring right at his naked body, "Stop looking at me like that! It's embarrassing!" Haru chuckled at his embarrassment, "How is it embarrassing after what we did?" He couldn't help but grin at the porcelain prince that he could now call his. "I don't know, it just is!" He turned his flustered face away from him slipping on his boxers and pants. Haru smiled at him, as he located his own clothes dressing himself with a content smile on his face. Today made it eight months exactly. Today was the anniversary of the happiest day of Haru's life, but for whatever reason he felt something was amiss about his lover today. He didn't know what could be wrong but it gave him an unpleasant sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"What other choice do I have?" Yuki thought to himself as he recalled what his god had told him on the phone last night._ "Break the stupid cow's heart. He's an idiot to think he can make__** my **__Yuki happy." _Akito's sickening sweet voice rang in Yuki's ears causing him to shake in terror. Yuki had brought him out here to leave him, but Haru had remembered that today made it eight months. Eight months ago Yuki had finally said yes to Haru's offer of a date. He must have thought Yuki wanted to celebrate, which he did but he couldn't ignore the taunting voice that was haunting his mind.

_"Do you love him Yuki? Akito had inquired, "Do you undress yourself for him?" Yuki silently shook holding the phone against his ear. "That's not love my sweet Yuki." Akito cooed, "Do you think he's the only one who can make you feel like that, hmm? I could give you the same feeling." Yuki still couldn't find a voice to speak with, only small terrified whimpers and squeaks escaped his throat as Akito continued to speak, "That fool doesn't love you, __**I am the only one who loves you!" **__Akito's voice snarled through the phone causing Yuki to squeak in fear nearly dropping the phone out of his hand as he trembled where he stood. "N-n-n.. y-yo-ur wro-.." He could barely speak the words knowing he was going pay for what he was saying, "What did you say you pathetic vermin?!" Akito snapped, "You can't argue with me! I am above you! I am your god!" The god screamed enraged now into the phone. "Tomorrow you will heartless leave the foolish ox. You will tell him he is a fool to think he could love you. You will do this or I will take his life for thinking he can make you his." With that last growl of commands Akito abruptly hung up the phone leaving Yuki to sob at the task he must play out to save his knight in shining armor._

"Earth to Yuki~!" Haru giggled waving a hand in front of the spaced out rat's face. "Oh.. Sorry." Yuki nervously laughed flashing one of his famous hollow smiles, "Guess I was just in a bit of a daze." Haru frowned at this half faked smile seeing straight through it. "What's wrong?" The ox asked his eyes growing worried for the boy he loved, "You've been kinda weird all day." He explained his concern. Yuki avoided his eyes, _"If I look at his eyes I won't be able to keep myself composed." _Haru watched his lovers expression change as he waited for his answer. All the emotion in Yuki's face drained away, "I leaving you." Yuki said flatly staring at his and Haru's feet. Haru felt his heart drop to his stomach, his peaceful happy world suddenly sent into a downward spiral. "Wha-..." He couldn't even finish that one word. Devastation was written all over Hatsuharu's face, his grey eyes became glassy with tears. Yuki turned away from him, he couldn't face Haru as he did this, "I brought you here to leave you. I didn't want all that to happen. I'm sorry Haru but it's over." _"This is just a nightmare. Yes, a nightmare."_ Haru thought as Yuki spoke in a cold, emotionless voice that reminded him of Hatori. "Are you not going to say anything?" Yuki inquired meekly slightly glancing over his shoulder at the ox, who had, without realizing it himself, fallen to his knees on the ground. Although his grey eyes held tears that threatened to fall to his lap they, however, didn't hold emotion.

Before Yuki could say or do anything, Haru let out an array of insane laughter. It sounded as though he had lost his mind. "I get it!" He laughed harder holding his sides leaning over toward the ground as he laughed making it to where Yuki couldn't see his face. "It's just a nightmare!" He laughed hysterically, "I'm going to wake up in a minute and you'll be asleep next to me in your bed!" Yuki shook his head, "H-Haru... This is not a dream." His voice wavered indicating the impending sobs that were about to escape from his throat. "Of course it is!" Haru continued laughing like a mad man, "My Yuki would never do this!" Yuki felt his stomach turn,_ "I wouldn't if I didn't have to." _

Yuki shoved all emotion down, he had to do this for Haru, it is all to save him. "No." His voice was cold again, "This is real, we're done. I don't want to be with you anymore Hatsuharu." Haru's face snapped up to look up at Yuki as he heard his full name for the rat. Yuki never calls him by his full name, not unless he's angry with him. "...This is real..?" The ox's voice was a faint whisper as he slowly realized this was no nightmare, this was a living hell! _"Oh no~, you piece of ass is running away."_ Black Haru mocked in his mind. Haru curled in on himself where he was on the ground, "...This is real..." His faint broken voice said again.

With tears falling down his face Hatusharu looked up to his prince, grabbing the back of his shirt as he had millions of times before, "...Why? Why are you doing this?" Haru pleaded for an answer to the destruction of his entire happiness. _"You're so pathetic!"_ Black Haru laughed at White Haru's misery. "Because I don't want to be stuck with the idiot ox for the rest of my life!" Yuki couldn't hold back the sobs on his last remark, as he cried he shook Haru's weak grip on his shirt running away from him back to Shigure's house.

*Hours later*

Haru hadn't moved for hours. The sun now drooped lazily in the late evening sky causing a slight chill in that the ox always found to be the coziest of weather. Normally this sort of weather made Haru excited for the upcoming fall. That isn't the case today. Today which once was the best day of the young cow's life much rather could now be called his death. There was no more purpose in Haru's life without the rat, his only thing he ever wanted to do was make Yuki happy._ "You have been played as a fool." _His own twisted voice rang in his head. _"Yet again the rat made an imbecile out of the ox."_ Haru wished Black Haru was a real person so he could punch him in the throat. _"Shut up. Just shut up." _He said in his mind to the sinister Black Haru. In response Black Haru let out a devious chuckle, _"You truly are a fool! You actually thought the rat loved you!? You!? No one can fully love a dim-wit like you!" _The long awaited sobs finally broke out of Hatsuharu, "This isn't a nightmare. He's gone..." Haru cupped his face in his hands muffling his cries.

AN: Well here is the first chapter of I don't know how many. R&R if you would like me to continue.

Oh! Also the song that bother is all about is Voices by Crown The Empire. If you would like to know the lyrics I could put them in the next chapter.


End file.
